52 Fridays: Love

There are somethings you can't possibly understand until you experience them. A mother's love is one such thing. I've always known that my mama loves me and that I would love my children. I couldn't fully comprehend the magnitude of that love, until I became a mother. People tell you that you'll fall in love when you meet your child, but words cannot truly express what that love feels like. Being Hannah's mommy is one of the greatest gifts I have ever received. I am so honored and blessed that God chose me to be her mother.

(Photos by Hope Toliver)

I know that Hannah knows that I love her. Aside from the fact that I tell her all the time, I think she can feel the love. My love for her is pure and unconditional. A man I met recently said John 3:16 takes on a whole new meaning after you have kids. It took me a minute to really get what he was saying. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. I could not imagine giving up my only baby girl. Yes Jesus rose from the dead and is now seated at the right hand of the Father, but he also suffered the weight of our sins on the cross. I could not imagine watching my child suffer on a cross. Her 10 1/2 week stay in the NICU was not the easiest thing I've experienced. To think that God loved us enough to send His only son, so that we can be engrafted into God's family...it blows my mind. The love that God has for us is hard to comprehend. I know that God loves me. I feel that love. Becoming a mother has given me a greater understanding of true love. I have a new frame of reference. If only I had a better vocabulary to articulate my feelings. The good news is, for now "Mommy loves you so much" seems to work.

52 Fridays: Motions

Hannah is a busy little bee. She is always in motion. These days she's working on crawling. She'd love to skip crawling and go straight to walking. I would never hold her back or tell her that she can't do anything that she puts her mind to, but I have told her that it's okay to crawl first. :)

It's fun to watch her work toward crawling. She can scoot backwards, roll or pivot to the side, and attempt to lunge herself forward. "They" tell me all motion is progress. I think it's fun to watch her learning to be more mobile. Of course with her moving more, it makes my job a little harder these days. She keeps me on my toes. But I love it.

Where in the world is Hannah?: My First Storytime

Hannah attended her first storytime at the library today. We attended the session for children ages newborn to two and their caregivers. I told Hannah we had a new adventure planned for today, but I don't think she had any idea what we were in for. She wasn't alone. 

When we arrived, the librarian was blowing bubbles and the older children were playing in the front. Hannah was bright-eyed and taking it all in. She looked around the room at all the kids and she laughed as they chased the bubbles. If this would have been all we did during storytime, she would have been content.

It was time to begin and the librarian started with sing-along songs! How fun is that?! Unfortunately this was our first time and we didn't know all the songs, but we could bounce along. (I will be researching and learning the songs for next time.) Hannah enjoyed watching the other kids do the motions to all the fun songs. We took a few minutes to "shake our sillies out" and then it was time for the first book, Jump Frog, Jump. I'm not sure any of the children followed the story, but I know they all enjoyed themselves. Some of the boys inched closer and closer to the librarian, until they were practically in her lap. Hannah watched it all. She even turned around to see the kids behind us. More songs and the book Colors followed and then we sang a good-bye song. It was over in 15 minutes and Hannah was pumped! She talked all the way home and had a good jump in her jumperoo before she went down for a nap.

I regret I didn't have someone take a picture of us there, but we'll go back next week and I'll get a picture. I did get a picture of us when we got home. As you can see, Hannah is still very excited.

52 Fridays: Warmth

As I was trying to think of ways to share the theme of "warmth" with Hannah, I couldn't help but think about how she spent her first weeks in a heated bed. When she's older I'll be able to share with her the whole amazing story of her birth and first year. This week, I just told her that when she was a baby she had a heater in her bed that helped keep her warm. I explained that we had to take her temperature every 3 hours. It was crucial that she not expend any calories trying to regulate her body temperature. She was so tiny, she couldn't afford to burn calories. Thank God for a bed that could do for her little body what it couldn't do for itself. I didn't show her any pictures of this, because every time I look back at the pictures I get emotional. I'm so grateful to God for getting us through that. I'm grateful for that bed with the heater.

(Picture by Dana Snuggs for Project Tiny)

When Hannah was first born, we couldn't hold her. She had to stay in her bed, connected to all the machines. It was 16 days before she was stable enough for me to hold her. The first time I held her, she was tucked into my shirt, against my skin, to keep warm. I never wanted that time to end. She snuggled right up against my chest and we both enjoyed every second we were allowed to cuddle. 

Fast forward nine months and Hannah can regulate her body temperature and we are free to snuggle whenever we want! God is good! Hannah loves to snuggle with Mommy. Sometimes she'll even get under a blanket with me, but other times she has places to go and things to do. :)

52 Fridays: Shades of Red

This week's theme was shades of red. Hannah and I looked around the house in search of red things. We started in the kitchen, where Hannah found Mommy's red mop. I love my new little mop. It makes mopping, something I don't enjoy, more enjoyable.

Red Mop

Next, we moved into the living room where we found Hannah's red container and two red blocks.  

Red Container and 2 Red Blocks

We then went into my room and found one of my absolute favorite things...my red purse. I love this red purse. I don't carry it anymore, because I carry a diaper bag, but this purse is still very near and dear to my heart. 

Red Purse (two cuties!)

Finally, we went into Hannah's room to talk about the most important shade of red. Blood red. The blood of Jesus to be specific. We pulled out her Easter Story book and talked briefly about how Jesus died for our sins. How his blood cleanses us and how thankful we are that he paid the price for our sin, so we don't have to. Thank you Jesus. 

Red Blood of Jesus